Proud Mommy Moment

A few weeks back Torin and Vaughn were invited to their friends birthday parties. The two boys are brothers that share a birthday within the same week thus the Mother planned for movies for both of the boys friends to of course minimize planning two birthday parties. Quite the smart lady if you ask me :)

The only issue was that the 8 / 9 year olds were going to see Captain America. The Mom emailed asking if Captain America was alright, seeing as though it was PG-13. I had to say that we don't let the boys watch PG-13 movies. We've always told the boys that the movie industry, not Mom or Dad, have rated the movies based on what "THEY" think is appropriate for the audience. The boys have understood that a movie rated PG-13 is not something that is appropriate for them based on what the movie experts think. It's not that I am trying to be over protective but more teach them that if a movie is rated in a certain way that it is to their benefit not to watch it.

The Mom understood and I did apologize as I felt bad being one of "those" parents but I had to stick to what we have always told the boys. She said that some of the other parents felt the same way and some of the kids had already seen Captain America so everyone was going to see Smurfs. I was relieved as saying all of this is much easier then actually having that conversation with Torin.

We got to the movie and while eating pizza the lady organizing the event asked how many were going to Smurfs and how many for Captain America. My heart sunk. I didn't know this was still an option. Torin looked completely confused as I hadn't even mentioned to him to that Captain America was an option. He looked around to see all of the older boys raising their hands for Captain America and raised his hand too. I had not prepared for this and I was a little at a loss of how to handle it.

I walked over to him and explained that Captain America was PG-13 and his face just dropped. "But Mom all of my friends are going to it." I felt terrible for him. Truly I didn't want to embarass him so I totally caved. I told him that I would make a HUGE exception this one and only time but that I would have to go to the movie too. I told him I wouldn't sit next to him that I would sit next to the Dad that was going. But I had to go in case the movie had certain things that I didn't think were right for him to see, that I needed to see it too if he would have questions about it. Torin was fine with this plan, so I thought.

The rest of the night went fine with cake, a tour of the production rooms and then getting into line for the movies. Torin initially went into Captain America and then at the last minute jumped out of line and got in line for the smurfs. I was completely surprised. ALL of his friends were in line for Captain America. I had given him permission to go. So why the change? I went over to him and said "Honey, I told you it was alright. What's going on?" He looked at me and said "Super hero's are lame anyway and I know it's not appropriate for me Mom." I about feel over. Here is an 8 year old kid who even when given permission is doing the right thing. I asked him if he was sure and he told me, "Yes, I think that the Smurfs is going to be really funny." I told him that he had made me the proudest Mommy ever and asked if I could reward him with a slushie for such a great decision that he had made. He of course accepted.

Smurf's really wasn't that good in my opinion. I have seen much better kid movies but it was the best movie ever due to the choice that Torin had made. He stood up for what he knew was right no matter if that meant that he didn't get to go with his friends and instead hanging out with his 5 year old brother and other 5 / 6 year olds. That is beyond my imagination for a 8 year old but I hope and pray that he models this behavior for the rest of the hard times that are yet to come in his life.

On our way home I told him that Noni, my Mom, used to let me watch R and PG-13 rated movies all of the time when I was his age. His response was "I bet you used to have a lot of nightmares." And he's right, I did. Not sure if my Mom missed out on the whole "what's appropriate for kids to see" thing as I am still a little freaked out by clowns after watching Poltergist. I told Torin that there are going to many more times in his life when his friends are going to do things that he will know are not right. He looked at me really weird and said "Like what?" I said that when he is a teenager that some kids might drink and smoke. That it will look like fun even though it is wrong to do and he might be tempted to try it. His face got an even weirder look on it and said "That's gross Mom. I'm never going to drink or smoke." I told him that I prayed he never would but that I would be here for him either way praying that when life gets harder that he stands up for what he knows and believes is right like he had tonight.

Growing in faith....in more than one way

Last summer my faith was tested when I let Torin go to his first overnight camp for 4 days and 3 nights. Three other couples in our small group where sending their boys, all of the same age, and I was the one who was very hesitant to do this. Torin and I have been apart many times before but not like this. Not where he was with no one that I knew and I didn't have a way to call or talk to him. Just the thought of it would make me almost tear up. I called the camp and literally talked to the person for over an hour regarding my questions. Who slept in the cabin with the boys? What was the cabin like? Were the boys ever left unattended? Trust me the list went on and on. I wish I could say that their answers made me feel more comfortable but it didn't.





I prayed about it and knew that I needed to trust God on this one as Torin REALLY wanted to go. How could I as a parent tell him "no" to expanding his knowledge and love for God just to make myself feel comfortable? Well, obviously, I couldn't so off he went. I emailed him every day and was literally the first parent at camp on Saturday to pick him up. And he was fine and happy to see me. He told me about chapel and the awesome worship songs that they sung. He got to drink diet coke, obviously not cool with that part but a small thing for what he learned. Then the question came "Mom, next year can I go for the full week?". Obviously Torin had no idea what life was like for me the past 3 nights ;)





The winter came and then the spring, sign up for Trout Lake Camp came and the question resurfaced. I will say that I was maybe a little more open to it then I had been the morning that I picked him up BUT still was not overly ambitious to sign him up for a full week. Of course the other parents were going to. I began to wonder what was wrong with these parents. I tried convincing these parents of just doing the 4 days / 3 nights again to find out that I wasn't going to win that conversation. I signed him up for the full week and he was literally ear to ear smile.





Well the Spring went super fast and June was crazy busy for us that before I knew it, it was literally 2 days until he left for camp. Anxiety set in for me. I really did not want to let him go for a week. I talked with him, calmly, saying "I know you can handle it Torin but maybe we could still call and change it to the shorter stay. You could still stay with your friends just for a shorter time." Torin looked at me with a very loving but also a too grown up look on his face and said very camly but matter of factly to me "Mom, you are going to be alright." and gave me a hug. Really? I will be alright? Wasn't he concerned about how he would do? Is he 8 or 18? I just wasn't sure if I was going to be alright. And why was he so convinced that I would be?

We made the trek up there, this year I got a ton of hugs and kisses good-bye along with even being able to take a picture. We prayed together that he would have a safe and good time and that his faith would grow. The first night there were severe thunderstorms in the area he was at, not really what I needed God, as I was about to go up there and get him to make sure he was o.k. It was at this point that I took a long breath and just prayed safety over him and anxiety to be released for me. I opened my eyes and just had a sense of comfort that he was just fine. I think through this time of Torin growing in his faith, which Trout Lake Camp really does fabulously with these kiddo's, I'm growing in my faith too. Torin is not mine, he is my son that God has provided to me but only God knows his plan. I am getting to a point that I am sllloooowwwlllly letting go to let Torin grow and experience God for himself. It's harder than one would think but I'm also growing in trusting God with him. When I picked him up on Saturday he was very happy to see me, I was kind of teary eyed but fought it back. On our way home together that day I let him sit in the front seat so we could catch up. He talked to me about what he had learned about God, the friends that he had made and shared that some day that he wants to be a counselor at Trout Lake. I guess this letting go thing, even though extremely hard, has some pretty good benefits from it. Of course he's already begging to go back next year and I think that this next year will be a "bit" easier to send him off. Not a great picture but this is Hayden, Torin

and Carter. They all were in the same cabin last

summer and hope to make it a yearly tradition of

being together and learning more about God.

New Ears

One morning I am greeted by Vaughn saying that his ears feel like his nose is dripping. I turn in bed to look at his ear to see that blood is dripping out. Once I realize that it doesn't seem to be anything to serious, it doesn't hurt him, he can hear fine and the blood was very minimal, I realize that his description was actually quite accurate :) Oh Vaughn even in these moments he can make us smile. It had been a year since his last set of tubes and it would probably be a good idea to get them checked out. So off to the ENT we went to find out that one ear drum has collapsed. Vaughn doesn't get ear infections like the normal child he tries to surpass normalcy by having collapsed ear drums :) After this appointment of seeing how much hearing loss he actually had we realized that he is reading lips. Kids are amazingly resilient to me in how the adjust to the situation at hand. If you are whispering but Vaughn can see your lips watch what you say my friends as it will most likely get repeated. We noticed that in the car was the hardest for him as he couldn't see our faces to read our lips. The doctor recommended T-tubes which is a more permanent ear tube lasting 3 to 5 years versus the typical tube that only lasts 6 to 12 months. The surgery went great with the ear drum reopening without any difficultly which is great. If after these tubes, the ear drums collapse again it will most likely mean a much different type of surgery but right now we are just blessed that we caught it when we did and that the ear drum reopened.

It is interesting that the noises Vaughn had heard before our much louder. He's complained about church being too loud, the vaccum being too loud and of course his baby brother being too loud. I think that he's finally adjusting to the noise level but it's been interesting to hear from him what he considers "loud" ;)

Going in to get work on the ol'ears...

We found out the evening before the surgery that

monkey and cheetey both needed their ears done as

well. I guess if I didn't realize that Vaughn was having

issues why would I have known about his stuffed animals.

Ears are "two thumbs" up!