Day 2 DC Vaca

Well today started off just as nice. The boys slept in till 7:30 which means I got to sleep in too. Seriously, I hope this is how it will be for the entire week. The boys were drooling for Al Johnson's swedish pancakes so I caved and we went. Since it was a Tuesday the restaurant was pretty empty and the cakes came pretty much right after we ordered them. Torin and Vaughn both had adult orders with meatballs and Berc got the kiddie one. I didn't order any as I thought that there would be left overs. Not so much the case. I got one meatball and maybe one cake so it was a light breakfast for me :) It was then off to the pontoon that we had rented and we headed out into the big blue. Vaughn thought we were on the ocean, Torin thought we were on Lake Michigan and Berc well he didn't quite care cause he just loved the wind in his hair. We fished a little, boated a little and dipped our toes in and didn't attempt swimming. Green Bay is just as cold as Lake Michigan so we just soaked up the sunshine instead. We had a few snacks and then headed back to the dock. Of course we had to frequent Wilson's for lunch, it's really the only way to go. After lunch we fished off the docks until both boys caught a bass. Vaughn was the first to catch the fish and even though Torin was happy for his brother you could tell that he just really wished it was him. But of course he was still proud.

At this point in the day we had all had enough sunshine and Berc looked like he was going to drop. I told the boys on the way home that they all needed to take naps if we were going to attempt the drive-in. We got back to the cottage and everyone laid down. No whining, no nothing. I laid down on the couch to read and before I knew it I woke up and it was 5:00pm and all the boys were still sleeping. Seriously, at this point the vacation couldn't get any better.

I got up, started making dinner and before I knew it dinner was ready and the boys were all at the table. We gobbled it down and then got ready for the drive-in. I really wasn't sure about trying to conquer this on my own but the boys really impressed me. We got to the drive-in, got the "bed" made in back and all laid down together for the movie. Bercan was a little restless but I caved and gave him his nuk. I told him that if he stayed laying down that he could have it. He tried getting up a couple of times in which I would take the nuk and he would pretty much drop down to get it. I felt like I was treating him like a dog but hey it worked :)

After the movie on the way home Vaughn thanked me for such an awesome day. And really it was.

The back of the van for the drive-in. We had a great time!

Torin's small mouth bass. He was just amazed that the small

mouth bass was bigger than any of the large mouth bass that

he's caught before. It's funny the things that he thinks about!

Vaughny's catch of the day :)

The three crazy boys on the pontoon. They all thought they

were pretty cool to be out on the front of it :)

Bercan is a free little spirit. If he could be naked all of the time

he would be. I was trying to change him into his suit and as

soon as the diaper was off that was that. Thus we had some cute

little buns to look at for the rest of the ride. Silly little man!

Al Johnson's...yuummmy!!! Bercan was super afraid of

the trolls that they had around. He wouldn't go near them.

He would just look at them and shake his head no :)

Day 1 - Door County Vaca

Today was our first day in Door County. We started off with a laid back morning of cereal and snuggling on the couch. We went for a walk around the "neighborhood" which Torin happened to notice quite quickly that is was very different from ours. As there were no cars, no kids and just a lot of nature. It was awesome! We decided that it was warm enough to head to the beach so we got dressed, made lunch and headed out. Ephraim beach was the destination for today and it was great. The boys had so much fun just playing. There was not even a distant thought of whining. Very peaceful which is odd for me to say being with three boys at the beach but really it was great. After that we headed home to put Berc down for a nap, had a sitter come stay at the cottage in order to take the older boys to Johnson Park for go-carting, mini golf and batting cages. After that it was to Wilson's for some cheese curds and ice cream. How else do you end the afternoon in Door County :) Once we got home we woke Berc up and headed out for a few groceries. We made sloppy joes, beans and chips and the boys devoured it, even Berc. After I was done eating I started to do the dishes in which the older two helped dry the dishes. No dishwasher means that we are the dish washers. It was very nice to have the help :) We ended the night with a walk, baths and bed. I would have to say that the first day was a success and we are looking forward to tomorrow.

The butterfly that Torin caught and safely released.

Just a randomly says, "Mom, look what I caught."

Who needs a swimsuit?

Loving the sun and vacation as much as I do :)

Where is he?

At this time yesterday, I thought my world as I knew it was going to be changed forever. I couldn't breath, I couldn't move, I felt numb. Although I was frantic, crying and running around yelling "VAUGHN". The world was spinning, thoughts were racing. People asking me questions and I could hardly see them through the tears in my eyes. How could this be happening to me? The minutes went by and the horrible thought went through my mind "This is really happening!". I thought I was going to throw up. Everyone was looking at me but I didn't care I wanted to find Vaughn. What was I going to tell Bjorn? How would I ever look at him again?

I had seen him by the entrance of the store. I called to him "Vaughny come back by me please?" He always listens to me because he is afraid of not being by me. He's afraid of being left, any where. I looked up and he wasn't there. I didn't fret it, AT ALL. He's a kid after all hiding under the clothes rack is part of his DNA. A couple more minutes went by and I still didn't see him. Still no worries. I went up to the front of the store and he wasn't there. Not worried. Called his name a couple of times no response. Not worried. I searched the store looking in the changing rooms, under the racks, No Vaughn. A tiny bit worried. I'm sure he just went into the adult section of the store. Started looking there, couldn't find him. The clerk at the store asked me what he was wearing "Ahh...a white shirt and khaki pants." A little more worried. Checked that side of the store. He wasn't in the store. Worried now. The clerk locked the store down. I looked out of the store in the mall. I couldn't see him any where. My heart started to race. It had been over 10 minutes now that I had seen him last. I peaked in some of the other stores, mall security was called. At about 15 minutes I started to cry, harder and harder as each minute went by with not knowing where he was. I remembered seeing a guy in the kids section of the store. He smiled at me and the boys. I smiled back at him. He wasn't in the store anymore. Why was that man by himself in the children's section? Thoughts and questions were flying through my mind. I couldn't answer any of them but each one made me more and more scared.

The panic had more than set it. I was hysterical. I showed a picture of him to the security. I called Bjorn he jumped in the car and started to head for the mall. I retold the story to everyone that asked. At this point now it was 30 minutes. I started to think of all the things I hadn't told him, all of the things that I had wanted for him. Will I ever see him again? How could this be happening? This was my worst nightmare coming true. Just then a call came through on the security officers radio that they think they found him. I asked where "By Herbergers" he started to walk down there. I started to run....faster and faster and faster crying the whole way. Torin could hardly keep up with me. I saw him and he saw me. It was the classic running into each others arms until he got up to me, hit me and through tears cried "Why did you leave me?". I told him I didn't leave him that I would never ever leave him.

I asked if someone had taken him. "No mama. I walked out and couldn't find you again. I thought you had left the store." We concluded that he either saw someone like me walk out of the store or got out of the store, became disoriented and couldn't find the store again. He was half way across the mall outside near the parking lot trying to find the car. A lady saw him without a parent, asked him if he was lost and brought him into the mall and found security. God bless that womean as she is seriously an angel to me.

This was the most horrible event that I have ever been through. I'm seriously still really shaken up about it today. I got into work today and saw all the art that he has made for me. One is a heart that has his name at the top, mine at the bottom and a heart in the middle. The caption reads, "This is a picture of my heart. It is for my family because I love them." I instantly got tears in my eyes. I was thinking about going for a run tonight and thought what if he had been taken. I would never be able to run without crying for him. Vaughny loves running with me. Tells me he is my runner boy. It's all these little things that are making me realize how VERY different things could have been.

During those 30 minutes I prayed that God would be with him, protect him, bring him back to me. PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE bring him back to me. And He did. These last 24 hours have not been fun. I have been thinking about what I could've or should've done. Last night when I prayed with Vaughn he prayed that next time he will choose not to go with me to the mall but to just to stay home. It made me feel terrible. I know that this happens to many parents but it was just too much for me.

I am purely writing this as a means to try and get these thoughts out of my head to not haunt me any more. I'm so frazzled that anything I do seems to be so unimportant. Why did this happen? Was it a sign from God? I can't help to think through these things. Is it because I'm so analytical that I can't stop thinking about the what if's, could've been type questions? I don't know why but I hope to put these thoughts past me and look at it as an opportunity to talk through what happend to Vaughn with him, as what to do when he looses Mama and a lesson to realize just how precious our time is with these gifts from God.

Salesman....

I think it's always amazing to see just how differently kids react to things and what motivates them. Torin is one that is much of a leader, if he doesn't want to do something it will take a lot to convince him to do it. As well, if he has his mind set to do something it takes a lot to change it which usually means that he won't :)

Baseball season was upon us this summer and I knew that there would be the annual fundraising event. Torin did great with this last summer but it did take some of my encouragement for him to get out door to door to do it. This summer was much different.

On our way home from getting the fundraister I told him that we got the fundraising packet and he got all excited to get out and sell the coupon cards. I told him that this year it was going to be harder as there were more boys in the neighborhood this year that were in baseball and had the same fundraiser. He got this little sparkle in his eye and asked "When we get home can we go out and sell them right away." I said of course and told him "The early bird gets the worm." After explaining what this exactly meant Torin was ready to go.

Literally we got home, he grabbed a gatorade and out we went going door to door. The little guy sold 24 coupons by the end of the trip. He said to me "Mom lets go in and have lunch then go back out, okay?" I was ready to rest and was tired myself. Thankfully, he didn't want to go back out and honestly I was alright with that.

The next day I didn't bring it up as it was Mother's Day and it just seemed didn't seem right to be selling. Torin didn't even bring it up but when we went to Nana and Papa's later that day he definitely was alright selling one to Nana and even put his baseball cap on to give her his sales speech.

It is fun to see him take the initiative and make the sales. Although I know I'm his Mom and I'm supposed to think the best of him, the little guy did do quite good in his sales speech and was complimented a few times on it. Personally, I don't know how anyone could say no to him with his hair just sticking out of his baseball cap, his tanned little face, bright blue eyes, baseball pants and his smooth little speech. Again, I am his Mom so of course I think this but he was just too cute :)

His goal is to sell three packets. We'll see if he makes it. I think that he was the right attitude to make it happen!

Christmas Cookies - Easy AGAIN

Yes, I know that I am behind on my blog...it's just how it's going lately :)

Well last year worked out so well to buy the cookies made and to buy the frosting all ready to go that I decided why not keep it easy for a second year in a row. I figure that as long as we are both working full time that we are just going to do what we can to keep things easy :) After all the kids could careless, they still got to decorate and eat the cookies.

Here are a few pictures of the finished results...

You can see even Bercan helped out this year.

It was actually pretty impressive to see how long

he stuck with "decorating" his cookie.

My goofy boys being goofy.....I wouldn't want it

any other way....most of the time :)

The finished product....yes the icing and cookies

were bought from the store but we gave them a good

Larson decorating and I think we did fantastic :)

Prayers of an older brother....

I'm amazed sometimes how God works. Really? Aren't we all. The good times are easy to deal with and delight in, praising God for them comes second hand. The bad times however, are something that most people, especially me, have a hard time coping with. Instead of leaning on God, I tend to think "what am I doing wrong as a parent?", "is there something wrong with my child?", "does he act this way because of something that I did?". Instead of reflecting on James 1 in that all troubles should be viewed as joyful as they are growing us in and helping us to become closer to God. Easier said then done, right? Well our little Vaughny has been giving us a run for our money. We've gone through a few phases with Torin but as they say each kid is different and Vaughn's temper is MUCH different then Torin's. He can get pretty verbally abusive and it really upsets Torin. To the point that Torin has told me on a number of occassions that he doesn't like when Vaughn talks like that. Vaughn will say that he hates himself, he hate this and that and everything in between. He'll bite himself or hit himself. Obviously, it's not something that we take lightly but being a pretty tempermental child myself I'm not overly concerned about it. But it does really concern Torin. The other night he was saying that he was afraid when Vaughn said things like that or did things like that so as we were praying by himself, not asked by me, he prayed "Dear God, please give my brother Vaughn strength to calm himself down so that he wouldn't say such mean words and help him to see what a cool kid that he really is. Always protect him and love him so that he doesn't get himself so worked up." My heart melted at hearing this. I told Torin that Vaughn was really blessed to have a brother like him and to never stop praying for Vaughn as it will only help him. Since then pretty much every night Torin will say some type of prayer for Vaughn. Sometimes it's light and when there's been an episode of sort it's usually a little more detailed. Of course I don't like Vaughn going through this, no parent would, but to think that if we weren't going through it that Torin would probably not have started praying for Vaughn makes me think that there's a reason behind it. Can you imagine knowing that one of your sibilings is praying for you every night? That every day someone cares enough about you to put you in their prayers. And not just pray for good health and all that good stuff but truly, a heartfelt prayer. Honestly, I know that my brother and sister love me dearly but I also know that they have probably never said a prayer for me. So if this was God's plan to show Torin the power in prayer then so be it :)

Smarty pants....maybe?

This past week Torin has just been off kilter. He's had a fever every day, not high, but enough to keep him home from school. He's had no desire to play, eat or really do anything. The other night I decided that 1) it was too nice to stay inside with the other boys and 2) I really didn't want them hanging around their sick brother. So I asked Tor if he would be alright if we played outside and he could just stay inside and watch TV. He was fine with it and knew that if he needed me we would be in the neighborhood. Well we got back and Bjorn got back home and asked "So did you know that Torin texted me from your phone?" I asked Torin how he knew how to do that. Of course the simply answer "I looked for the place to send texts." Granted for you and I that use phones all the time would know how to easily navigate to find the icon, type the text and click send. But our kids do not use phones and don't have anything that even semi resembles it. So I looked on my phone and here is what the text read: Dear dad I was wondering if you could till me what moms cell phone number is Bjorn then called him to say that if he gave Tor my cell number that it would call the phone that he was texting from, thus not getting me. Torin giggled realizing that his plan wasn't going to work. The little guy was fine but he actually felt like eating and was wondering if I would make it for him and didn't have enough energy to walk outside to get me. Overall it was pretty amazing to us that he found the icon, found Bjorn's contact information, typed the text and sent it. That's now his new thing "Mom can I text Daddy something?". They are always so cute that I haven't been able to resist him yet.