Proud Mommy Moment

A few weeks back Torin and Vaughn were invited to their friends birthday parties. The two boys are brothers that share a birthday within the same week thus the Mother planned for movies for both of the boys friends to of course minimize planning two birthday parties. Quite the smart lady if you ask me :)

The only issue was that the 8 / 9 year olds were going to see Captain America. The Mom emailed asking if Captain America was alright, seeing as though it was PG-13. I had to say that we don't let the boys watch PG-13 movies. We've always told the boys that the movie industry, not Mom or Dad, have rated the movies based on what "THEY" think is appropriate for the audience. The boys have understood that a movie rated PG-13 is not something that is appropriate for them based on what the movie experts think. It's not that I am trying to be over protective but more teach them that if a movie is rated in a certain way that it is to their benefit not to watch it.

The Mom understood and I did apologize as I felt bad being one of "those" parents but I had to stick to what we have always told the boys. She said that some of the other parents felt the same way and some of the kids had already seen Captain America so everyone was going to see Smurfs. I was relieved as saying all of this is much easier then actually having that conversation with Torin.

We got to the movie and while eating pizza the lady organizing the event asked how many were going to Smurfs and how many for Captain America. My heart sunk. I didn't know this was still an option. Torin looked completely confused as I hadn't even mentioned to him to that Captain America was an option. He looked around to see all of the older boys raising their hands for Captain America and raised his hand too. I had not prepared for this and I was a little at a loss of how to handle it.

I walked over to him and explained that Captain America was PG-13 and his face just dropped. "But Mom all of my friends are going to it." I felt terrible for him. Truly I didn't want to embarass him so I totally caved. I told him that I would make a HUGE exception this one and only time but that I would have to go to the movie too. I told him I wouldn't sit next to him that I would sit next to the Dad that was going. But I had to go in case the movie had certain things that I didn't think were right for him to see, that I needed to see it too if he would have questions about it. Torin was fine with this plan, so I thought.

The rest of the night went fine with cake, a tour of the production rooms and then getting into line for the movies. Torin initially went into Captain America and then at the last minute jumped out of line and got in line for the smurfs. I was completely surprised. ALL of his friends were in line for Captain America. I had given him permission to go. So why the change? I went over to him and said "Honey, I told you it was alright. What's going on?" He looked at me and said "Super hero's are lame anyway and I know it's not appropriate for me Mom." I about feel over. Here is an 8 year old kid who even when given permission is doing the right thing. I asked him if he was sure and he told me, "Yes, I think that the Smurfs is going to be really funny." I told him that he had made me the proudest Mommy ever and asked if I could reward him with a slushie for such a great decision that he had made. He of course accepted.

Smurf's really wasn't that good in my opinion. I have seen much better kid movies but it was the best movie ever due to the choice that Torin had made. He stood up for what he knew was right no matter if that meant that he didn't get to go with his friends and instead hanging out with his 5 year old brother and other 5 / 6 year olds. That is beyond my imagination for a 8 year old but I hope and pray that he models this behavior for the rest of the hard times that are yet to come in his life.

On our way home I told him that Noni, my Mom, used to let me watch R and PG-13 rated movies all of the time when I was his age. His response was "I bet you used to have a lot of nightmares." And he's right, I did. Not sure if my Mom missed out on the whole "what's appropriate for kids to see" thing as I am still a little freaked out by clowns after watching Poltergist. I told Torin that there are going to many more times in his life when his friends are going to do things that he will know are not right. He looked at me really weird and said "Like what?" I said that when he is a teenager that some kids might drink and smoke. That it will look like fun even though it is wrong to do and he might be tempted to try it. His face got an even weirder look on it and said "That's gross Mom. I'm never going to drink or smoke." I told him that I prayed he never would but that I would be here for him either way praying that when life gets harder that he stands up for what he knows and believes is right like he had tonight.

Growing in faith....in more than one way

Last summer my faith was tested when I let Torin go to his first overnight camp for 4 days and 3 nights. Three other couples in our small group where sending their boys, all of the same age, and I was the one who was very hesitant to do this. Torin and I have been apart many times before but not like this. Not where he was with no one that I knew and I didn't have a way to call or talk to him. Just the thought of it would make me almost tear up. I called the camp and literally talked to the person for over an hour regarding my questions. Who slept in the cabin with the boys? What was the cabin like? Were the boys ever left unattended? Trust me the list went on and on. I wish I could say that their answers made me feel more comfortable but it didn't.





I prayed about it and knew that I needed to trust God on this one as Torin REALLY wanted to go. How could I as a parent tell him "no" to expanding his knowledge and love for God just to make myself feel comfortable? Well, obviously, I couldn't so off he went. I emailed him every day and was literally the first parent at camp on Saturday to pick him up. And he was fine and happy to see me. He told me about chapel and the awesome worship songs that they sung. He got to drink diet coke, obviously not cool with that part but a small thing for what he learned. Then the question came "Mom, next year can I go for the full week?". Obviously Torin had no idea what life was like for me the past 3 nights ;)





The winter came and then the spring, sign up for Trout Lake Camp came and the question resurfaced. I will say that I was maybe a little more open to it then I had been the morning that I picked him up BUT still was not overly ambitious to sign him up for a full week. Of course the other parents were going to. I began to wonder what was wrong with these parents. I tried convincing these parents of just doing the 4 days / 3 nights again to find out that I wasn't going to win that conversation. I signed him up for the full week and he was literally ear to ear smile.





Well the Spring went super fast and June was crazy busy for us that before I knew it, it was literally 2 days until he left for camp. Anxiety set in for me. I really did not want to let him go for a week. I talked with him, calmly, saying "I know you can handle it Torin but maybe we could still call and change it to the shorter stay. You could still stay with your friends just for a shorter time." Torin looked at me with a very loving but also a too grown up look on his face and said very camly but matter of factly to me "Mom, you are going to be alright." and gave me a hug. Really? I will be alright? Wasn't he concerned about how he would do? Is he 8 or 18? I just wasn't sure if I was going to be alright. And why was he so convinced that I would be?

We made the trek up there, this year I got a ton of hugs and kisses good-bye along with even being able to take a picture. We prayed together that he would have a safe and good time and that his faith would grow. The first night there were severe thunderstorms in the area he was at, not really what I needed God, as I was about to go up there and get him to make sure he was o.k. It was at this point that I took a long breath and just prayed safety over him and anxiety to be released for me. I opened my eyes and just had a sense of comfort that he was just fine. I think through this time of Torin growing in his faith, which Trout Lake Camp really does fabulously with these kiddo's, I'm growing in my faith too. Torin is not mine, he is my son that God has provided to me but only God knows his plan. I am getting to a point that I am sllloooowwwlllly letting go to let Torin grow and experience God for himself. It's harder than one would think but I'm also growing in trusting God with him. When I picked him up on Saturday he was very happy to see me, I was kind of teary eyed but fought it back. On our way home together that day I let him sit in the front seat so we could catch up. He talked to me about what he had learned about God, the friends that he had made and shared that some day that he wants to be a counselor at Trout Lake. I guess this letting go thing, even though extremely hard, has some pretty good benefits from it. Of course he's already begging to go back next year and I think that this next year will be a "bit" easier to send him off. Not a great picture but this is Hayden, Torin

and Carter. They all were in the same cabin last

summer and hope to make it a yearly tradition of

being together and learning more about God.

New Ears

One morning I am greeted by Vaughn saying that his ears feel like his nose is dripping. I turn in bed to look at his ear to see that blood is dripping out. Once I realize that it doesn't seem to be anything to serious, it doesn't hurt him, he can hear fine and the blood was very minimal, I realize that his description was actually quite accurate :) Oh Vaughn even in these moments he can make us smile. It had been a year since his last set of tubes and it would probably be a good idea to get them checked out. So off to the ENT we went to find out that one ear drum has collapsed. Vaughn doesn't get ear infections like the normal child he tries to surpass normalcy by having collapsed ear drums :) After this appointment of seeing how much hearing loss he actually had we realized that he is reading lips. Kids are amazingly resilient to me in how the adjust to the situation at hand. If you are whispering but Vaughn can see your lips watch what you say my friends as it will most likely get repeated. We noticed that in the car was the hardest for him as he couldn't see our faces to read our lips. The doctor recommended T-tubes which is a more permanent ear tube lasting 3 to 5 years versus the typical tube that only lasts 6 to 12 months. The surgery went great with the ear drum reopening without any difficultly which is great. If after these tubes, the ear drums collapse again it will most likely mean a much different type of surgery but right now we are just blessed that we caught it when we did and that the ear drum reopened.

It is interesting that the noises Vaughn had heard before our much louder. He's complained about church being too loud, the vaccum being too loud and of course his baby brother being too loud. I think that he's finally adjusting to the noise level but it's been interesting to hear from him what he considers "loud" ;)

Going in to get work on the ol'ears...

We found out the evening before the surgery that

monkey and cheetey both needed their ears done as

well. I guess if I didn't realize that Vaughn was having

issues why would I have known about his stuffed animals.

Ears are "two thumbs" up!

Baseball Win = Cup and cone

One family tradition from when I was younger was that if won our baseball game we would get to go to the Kilte Drive-in for an ice cream treat. I have very fond memories of going there with my Mom and Dad and just feeling the pride of winning and I swear that the ice cream always tasted better with that satisfaction.

Now that the boys are playing sports and there is an ice cream place of Cup and Cone we have implemented the family tradition with one exception. If the boys do an outstanding job but still do not win we cave and take them. One game Vaughn had scored his first goal ever and we just had to celebrate that victory. The boys love going but already understand that if they don't win or have a stellar game that there is always next week to try and earn a trip to Cup and Cone. Here are a few pictures of them celebrating a win!!!

Torin, Tyler and Christain have all known each other

since 4 year pre-school having them all on the team

this year was a ton of fun to watch them all play together again.

The little brothers and the big brothers

celebrating yet another Cardinal win.

Berc enjoying it as well with this own ice cream.

Bercan is really making out between Vaughn and

Torin winning their baseball and soccer games. He's

gotten to the point that he will get his own kiddie cone

and trust me he thinks he's pretty big stuff eating them.

Twins Birthday Celebration

For Bjorn's birthday this year I decided that there wasn't anything material wise that I felt that he "needed", sure there were some wants but nothing needed. I'm just in this non-material mode of life right now ;) Thus, I decided that this we had not been to a Twins game yet at the new stadium that it would be the perfect time do so. The boys were more excited then I thought they were going to be, Bjorn included. Not only did we get to go to the new stadium but we got to experience it in first class style with access to the Legends club. It was a pretty hot night so it was really nice to be able to eat our treats in air conditioning and at tables versus trying to manage it all in our seats. The experience was definitely worth the money and better then any material thing could have provided. All of us had a great time and the even though the Twins did not win they gave us a fun 8th and 9th inning of ups and downs for cheering. The boys really got into it and Vaughn said even though they lost he loved the Twins still ;) I think Bjorn would agree that it was a great birthday present.

Bjorn and Jen using the iPhone as the camera's battery

was dead and it was the only camera for us to capture the memory ;)
Bjorn and Vaughn....Vaughn took turns between
our laps and his own seat.

The boys giving Mama some loving ;)

Bjorn and 2 of 3 boys...we decided that Berc just

was not old enough to come with us. Maybe next summer

he'll be able to enjoy a Twins game for someone's birthday ;)

Day 3 - DC Vaca

These mornings couldn't be more relaxing and fun to be with the boys. It's making the fact that I have to go back to work next week harder and harder. We ate in this morning and then packed up for another day at the beach. The weather held off for us until right when we left to head home for lunch. We really couldn't have been more blessed with this great weather. We got home, ate left-overs from dinner and then put Berc down for a nap. The sitter came and the older boys and I left to do pottery at the infamous Hands On Pottery or as Vaughn calls it Hands-r-us pottery :)

We each did a little art and then headed home to snuggle on the couch watching cartoons until Berc woke up. We grabbed some pizzas from Wild Tomato (my favorite pizza place in DC) and headed up to Sarah and Slade's to hang out. It was a fun and relaxing evening just catching up with good friends. Slade and Torin were really too cute! They were both on their stomach's, hands holding up their heads watching and archery program which then of course turned into fishing. I wish that I would've taken a picture of it.

We headed home and kids got to bed early and I finally finished one of the 5 books that I am reading. Another fabulous day of vacation!!!!

Pottery time with the boys!!!

Nicollet bay with the boys meant, digging holes

if you can imagine that!

No swimsuit but he would at least wear

his cover up. Seems a little backwards but

I think that is just normal for our Berc :)

I love how the three of them just played together

so well. It was so fun and relaxing!

Day 2 DC Vaca

Well today started off just as nice. The boys slept in till 7:30 which means I got to sleep in too. Seriously, I hope this is how it will be for the entire week. The boys were drooling for Al Johnson's swedish pancakes so I caved and we went. Since it was a Tuesday the restaurant was pretty empty and the cakes came pretty much right after we ordered them. Torin and Vaughn both had adult orders with meatballs and Berc got the kiddie one. I didn't order any as I thought that there would be left overs. Not so much the case. I got one meatball and maybe one cake so it was a light breakfast for me :) It was then off to the pontoon that we had rented and we headed out into the big blue. Vaughn thought we were on the ocean, Torin thought we were on Lake Michigan and Berc well he didn't quite care cause he just loved the wind in his hair. We fished a little, boated a little and dipped our toes in and didn't attempt swimming. Green Bay is just as cold as Lake Michigan so we just soaked up the sunshine instead. We had a few snacks and then headed back to the dock. Of course we had to frequent Wilson's for lunch, it's really the only way to go. After lunch we fished off the docks until both boys caught a bass. Vaughn was the first to catch the fish and even though Torin was happy for his brother you could tell that he just really wished it was him. But of course he was still proud.

At this point in the day we had all had enough sunshine and Berc looked like he was going to drop. I told the boys on the way home that they all needed to take naps if we were going to attempt the drive-in. We got back to the cottage and everyone laid down. No whining, no nothing. I laid down on the couch to read and before I knew it I woke up and it was 5:00pm and all the boys were still sleeping. Seriously, at this point the vacation couldn't get any better.

I got up, started making dinner and before I knew it dinner was ready and the boys were all at the table. We gobbled it down and then got ready for the drive-in. I really wasn't sure about trying to conquer this on my own but the boys really impressed me. We got to the drive-in, got the "bed" made in back and all laid down together for the movie. Bercan was a little restless but I caved and gave him his nuk. I told him that if he stayed laying down that he could have it. He tried getting up a couple of times in which I would take the nuk and he would pretty much drop down to get it. I felt like I was treating him like a dog but hey it worked :)

After the movie on the way home Vaughn thanked me for such an awesome day. And really it was.

The back of the van for the drive-in. We had a great time!

Torin's small mouth bass. He was just amazed that the small

mouth bass was bigger than any of the large mouth bass that

he's caught before. It's funny the things that he thinks about!

Vaughny's catch of the day :)

The three crazy boys on the pontoon. They all thought they

were pretty cool to be out on the front of it :)

Bercan is a free little spirit. If he could be naked all of the time

he would be. I was trying to change him into his suit and as

soon as the diaper was off that was that. Thus we had some cute

little buns to look at for the rest of the ride. Silly little man!

Al Johnson's...yuummmy!!! Bercan was super afraid of

the trolls that they had around. He wouldn't go near them.

He would just look at them and shake his head no :)

Day 1 - Door County Vaca

Today was our first day in Door County. We started off with a laid back morning of cereal and snuggling on the couch. We went for a walk around the "neighborhood" which Torin happened to notice quite quickly that is was very different from ours. As there were no cars, no kids and just a lot of nature. It was awesome! We decided that it was warm enough to head to the beach so we got dressed, made lunch and headed out. Ephraim beach was the destination for today and it was great. The boys had so much fun just playing. There was not even a distant thought of whining. Very peaceful which is odd for me to say being with three boys at the beach but really it was great. After that we headed home to put Berc down for a nap, had a sitter come stay at the cottage in order to take the older boys to Johnson Park for go-carting, mini golf and batting cages. After that it was to Wilson's for some cheese curds and ice cream. How else do you end the afternoon in Door County :) Once we got home we woke Berc up and headed out for a few groceries. We made sloppy joes, beans and chips and the boys devoured it, even Berc. After I was done eating I started to do the dishes in which the older two helped dry the dishes. No dishwasher means that we are the dish washers. It was very nice to have the help :) We ended the night with a walk, baths and bed. I would have to say that the first day was a success and we are looking forward to tomorrow.

The butterfly that Torin caught and safely released.

Just a randomly says, "Mom, look what I caught."

Who needs a swimsuit?

Loving the sun and vacation as much as I do :)

Where is he?

At this time yesterday, I thought my world as I knew it was going to be changed forever. I couldn't breath, I couldn't move, I felt numb. Although I was frantic, crying and running around yelling "VAUGHN". The world was spinning, thoughts were racing. People asking me questions and I could hardly see them through the tears in my eyes. How could this be happening to me? The minutes went by and the horrible thought went through my mind "This is really happening!". I thought I was going to throw up. Everyone was looking at me but I didn't care I wanted to find Vaughn. What was I going to tell Bjorn? How would I ever look at him again?

I had seen him by the entrance of the store. I called to him "Vaughny come back by me please?" He always listens to me because he is afraid of not being by me. He's afraid of being left, any where. I looked up and he wasn't there. I didn't fret it, AT ALL. He's a kid after all hiding under the clothes rack is part of his DNA. A couple more minutes went by and I still didn't see him. Still no worries. I went up to the front of the store and he wasn't there. Not worried. Called his name a couple of times no response. Not worried. I searched the store looking in the changing rooms, under the racks, No Vaughn. A tiny bit worried. I'm sure he just went into the adult section of the store. Started looking there, couldn't find him. The clerk at the store asked me what he was wearing "Ahh...a white shirt and khaki pants." A little more worried. Checked that side of the store. He wasn't in the store. Worried now. The clerk locked the store down. I looked out of the store in the mall. I couldn't see him any where. My heart started to race. It had been over 10 minutes now that I had seen him last. I peaked in some of the other stores, mall security was called. At about 15 minutes I started to cry, harder and harder as each minute went by with not knowing where he was. I remembered seeing a guy in the kids section of the store. He smiled at me and the boys. I smiled back at him. He wasn't in the store anymore. Why was that man by himself in the children's section? Thoughts and questions were flying through my mind. I couldn't answer any of them but each one made me more and more scared.

The panic had more than set it. I was hysterical. I showed a picture of him to the security. I called Bjorn he jumped in the car and started to head for the mall. I retold the story to everyone that asked. At this point now it was 30 minutes. I started to think of all the things I hadn't told him, all of the things that I had wanted for him. Will I ever see him again? How could this be happening? This was my worst nightmare coming true. Just then a call came through on the security officers radio that they think they found him. I asked where "By Herbergers" he started to walk down there. I started to run....faster and faster and faster crying the whole way. Torin could hardly keep up with me. I saw him and he saw me. It was the classic running into each others arms until he got up to me, hit me and through tears cried "Why did you leave me?". I told him I didn't leave him that I would never ever leave him.

I asked if someone had taken him. "No mama. I walked out and couldn't find you again. I thought you had left the store." We concluded that he either saw someone like me walk out of the store or got out of the store, became disoriented and couldn't find the store again. He was half way across the mall outside near the parking lot trying to find the car. A lady saw him without a parent, asked him if he was lost and brought him into the mall and found security. God bless that womean as she is seriously an angel to me.

This was the most horrible event that I have ever been through. I'm seriously still really shaken up about it today. I got into work today and saw all the art that he has made for me. One is a heart that has his name at the top, mine at the bottom and a heart in the middle. The caption reads, "This is a picture of my heart. It is for my family because I love them." I instantly got tears in my eyes. I was thinking about going for a run tonight and thought what if he had been taken. I would never be able to run without crying for him. Vaughny loves running with me. Tells me he is my runner boy. It's all these little things that are making me realize how VERY different things could have been.

During those 30 minutes I prayed that God would be with him, protect him, bring him back to me. PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE bring him back to me. And He did. These last 24 hours have not been fun. I have been thinking about what I could've or should've done. Last night when I prayed with Vaughn he prayed that next time he will choose not to go with me to the mall but to just to stay home. It made me feel terrible. I know that this happens to many parents but it was just too much for me.

I am purely writing this as a means to try and get these thoughts out of my head to not haunt me any more. I'm so frazzled that anything I do seems to be so unimportant. Why did this happen? Was it a sign from God? I can't help to think through these things. Is it because I'm so analytical that I can't stop thinking about the what if's, could've been type questions? I don't know why but I hope to put these thoughts past me and look at it as an opportunity to talk through what happend to Vaughn with him, as what to do when he looses Mama and a lesson to realize just how precious our time is with these gifts from God.

Salesman....

I think it's always amazing to see just how differently kids react to things and what motivates them. Torin is one that is much of a leader, if he doesn't want to do something it will take a lot to convince him to do it. As well, if he has his mind set to do something it takes a lot to change it which usually means that he won't :)

Baseball season was upon us this summer and I knew that there would be the annual fundraising event. Torin did great with this last summer but it did take some of my encouragement for him to get out door to door to do it. This summer was much different.

On our way home from getting the fundraister I told him that we got the fundraising packet and he got all excited to get out and sell the coupon cards. I told him that this year it was going to be harder as there were more boys in the neighborhood this year that were in baseball and had the same fundraiser. He got this little sparkle in his eye and asked "When we get home can we go out and sell them right away." I said of course and told him "The early bird gets the worm." After explaining what this exactly meant Torin was ready to go.

Literally we got home, he grabbed a gatorade and out we went going door to door. The little guy sold 24 coupons by the end of the trip. He said to me "Mom lets go in and have lunch then go back out, okay?" I was ready to rest and was tired myself. Thankfully, he didn't want to go back out and honestly I was alright with that.

The next day I didn't bring it up as it was Mother's Day and it just seemed didn't seem right to be selling. Torin didn't even bring it up but when we went to Nana and Papa's later that day he definitely was alright selling one to Nana and even put his baseball cap on to give her his sales speech.

It is fun to see him take the initiative and make the sales. Although I know I'm his Mom and I'm supposed to think the best of him, the little guy did do quite good in his sales speech and was complimented a few times on it. Personally, I don't know how anyone could say no to him with his hair just sticking out of his baseball cap, his tanned little face, bright blue eyes, baseball pants and his smooth little speech. Again, I am his Mom so of course I think this but he was just too cute :)

His goal is to sell three packets. We'll see if he makes it. I think that he was the right attitude to make it happen!

Christmas Cookies - Easy AGAIN

Yes, I know that I am behind on my blog...it's just how it's going lately :)

Well last year worked out so well to buy the cookies made and to buy the frosting all ready to go that I decided why not keep it easy for a second year in a row. I figure that as long as we are both working full time that we are just going to do what we can to keep things easy :) After all the kids could careless, they still got to decorate and eat the cookies.

Here are a few pictures of the finished results...

You can see even Bercan helped out this year.

It was actually pretty impressive to see how long

he stuck with "decorating" his cookie.

My goofy boys being goofy.....I wouldn't want it

any other way....most of the time :)

The finished product....yes the icing and cookies

were bought from the store but we gave them a good

Larson decorating and I think we did fantastic :)

Prayers of an older brother....

I'm amazed sometimes how God works. Really? Aren't we all. The good times are easy to deal with and delight in, praising God for them comes second hand. The bad times however, are something that most people, especially me, have a hard time coping with. Instead of leaning on God, I tend to think "what am I doing wrong as a parent?", "is there something wrong with my child?", "does he act this way because of something that I did?". Instead of reflecting on James 1 in that all troubles should be viewed as joyful as they are growing us in and helping us to become closer to God. Easier said then done, right? Well our little Vaughny has been giving us a run for our money. We've gone through a few phases with Torin but as they say each kid is different and Vaughn's temper is MUCH different then Torin's. He can get pretty verbally abusive and it really upsets Torin. To the point that Torin has told me on a number of occassions that he doesn't like when Vaughn talks like that. Vaughn will say that he hates himself, he hate this and that and everything in between. He'll bite himself or hit himself. Obviously, it's not something that we take lightly but being a pretty tempermental child myself I'm not overly concerned about it. But it does really concern Torin. The other night he was saying that he was afraid when Vaughn said things like that or did things like that so as we were praying by himself, not asked by me, he prayed "Dear God, please give my brother Vaughn strength to calm himself down so that he wouldn't say such mean words and help him to see what a cool kid that he really is. Always protect him and love him so that he doesn't get himself so worked up." My heart melted at hearing this. I told Torin that Vaughn was really blessed to have a brother like him and to never stop praying for Vaughn as it will only help him. Since then pretty much every night Torin will say some type of prayer for Vaughn. Sometimes it's light and when there's been an episode of sort it's usually a little more detailed. Of course I don't like Vaughn going through this, no parent would, but to think that if we weren't going through it that Torin would probably not have started praying for Vaughn makes me think that there's a reason behind it. Can you imagine knowing that one of your sibilings is praying for you every night? That every day someone cares enough about you to put you in their prayers. And not just pray for good health and all that good stuff but truly, a heartfelt prayer. Honestly, I know that my brother and sister love me dearly but I also know that they have probably never said a prayer for me. So if this was God's plan to show Torin the power in prayer then so be it :)

Smarty pants....maybe?

This past week Torin has just been off kilter. He's had a fever every day, not high, but enough to keep him home from school. He's had no desire to play, eat or really do anything. The other night I decided that 1) it was too nice to stay inside with the other boys and 2) I really didn't want them hanging around their sick brother. So I asked Tor if he would be alright if we played outside and he could just stay inside and watch TV. He was fine with it and knew that if he needed me we would be in the neighborhood. Well we got back and Bjorn got back home and asked "So did you know that Torin texted me from your phone?" I asked Torin how he knew how to do that. Of course the simply answer "I looked for the place to send texts." Granted for you and I that use phones all the time would know how to easily navigate to find the icon, type the text and click send. But our kids do not use phones and don't have anything that even semi resembles it. So I looked on my phone and here is what the text read: Dear dad I was wondering if you could till me what moms cell phone number is Bjorn then called him to say that if he gave Tor my cell number that it would call the phone that he was texting from, thus not getting me. Torin giggled realizing that his plan wasn't going to work. The little guy was fine but he actually felt like eating and was wondering if I would make it for him and didn't have enough energy to walk outside to get me. Overall it was pretty amazing to us that he found the icon, found Bjorn's contact information, typed the text and sent it. That's now his new thing "Mom can I text Daddy something?". They are always so cute that I haven't been able to resist him yet.

More children please

I sometimes wonder how many children was I supposed to have. When Bjorn and I first got married I wanted 4 children, he wanted 2 or 3. I soon became pregnant with Torin realizing that pregnancy was not my cup of tea. Some women love it, me on the other hand not so much. I seriously thought that was the only child that I was going to have as I just didn't want to go through pregnancy again. Obviously, I changed my mind as we now have 3 but making the decision to have 3 was kind of a big one. It's one that sometimes in the midst of craziness of 3 boys I wonder what God was thinking ;) All kidding aside of course. We are content with 3 and feel that we have our hands more than full, however, Torin has really been inquiring about having more siblings. He's always been great with babies. I remember a friend of mine having twins and bringing Torin with me to "help" out. Now mind you he was only 20 months himself. But he did help in holding the bottle and feeding one of the babies when it was feeding time. When Vaughn was born he was wonderful with him. They have their moments now BUT Torin still has a very sweet spot in his heart for Vaughn. Sometimes so amazing that it literally takes Bjorn and I back a step or two. When Berc was born Torin stepped up his act that much more and is always doing things to help Berc out. He loves that little boy more than when could understand. As we were casually strolling along in the store the other day Torin says, "Mom I think that we need to pick up 2 more kids for our family." It took me back as his statement made it sound as if we could head down to aisle #4 and pick out a few kids to bring home with us :) But it has made me think more. Were we supposed to have more children. Things have been done to ensure that we do not have any more children but I got to thinking a little more....does it matter if they are biological? Having siblings that are adopted there has always been apart of me that has wanted to adopt. Now, I don't EVER think of my brother or sister as adopted. I've known them my entire life and they are my brother and sister. Our blood and genes may not come from the same people but our memeories and love that has grown throughout the years are the same. I remember the way that my brother loved me as a little kid and I don't see any difference between that and how Torin loves Bercan. As Bjorn reads this I'm sure that he will have some heart burn as this is the topic of mind for me but at the end of the day our lives are enriched by our children. Whether it's been a good day or a day that has challenged us to grow in ways that maybe we didn't want to grow its the plan that God has laid out for us.

Christmas Eve

Probably the best thing about Christmas Eve was that it was low key. It was the five of us and Auntie Louise, Uncle Perry and course Sadie and Gus. We had dinner in and it was great! The boys loved just hanging out with their Aunt and Uncle and the puppies. Being the Auntie and Uncle of course they got them a few presents. They went with the seahorse theme. Torin got this awesome dragon seahorse, Vaughn one that had White Bear Lake colors and Berc's was a little seahorse cute just like him.

We ended the night off with a fire, requested by the boys of their Uncle that was prompted by their Aunt :) It was pretty cute as Uncle Perry just couldn't say no to the boys. Once Berc was laid down the boys just hung out by the fire warming themselves and watching the glow of the embers. When the boys were tucked away us adults talked about, oh anything and everything. It was a peaceful, quiet evening that will be cherished with memories for a lifetime.

Here are a few pictures of the evening...

Before dinner the boys were hanging out with

Auntie Lousie at the computer checking out

really important things :)

A picture of the boys and Sadie before dinner. The boys loved hanging out with
the puppies. And the puppies really loved them! Berc was like a new little chew toy
they both got used to each other in the few days that we were there.

Berc with his little seahorse. It was pretty cute to see him
walk around with the little guy. Just hugging and kissing it.

Torin and his dragon seahorse. I have to say that it was
a pretty cool stuffed animal. The best thing is that we actually
got to see live ones when we went to the aquarium.

Loss

Torin has a good friend who just lost his Grandpa and has been feeling pretty down about it. So we decided to try and cheer this friend up that we would invite him for a sleep over. Torin of course was pumped up about this and so was his friend.

When Torin I were talking about his friend he shared with me that Jacob had said that he had cried about loosing his Grandpa a few times. Torin said that he felt bad for him. I started to explain that loss, even though it is part of God's plan, that it is hard to accept and live with. Now let me explain that this little boy's Grandpa was outstanding and an exception to most Grandparents. He lived his life around his grandchildren. He went to every practice and every game. At the wake we said that Jim probably went to more games and practices then we did as parents as we would often trade off due to work or other obligations. Torin knew this and was sure to point out that Jacob's grandpa wasn't just like that for hockey but also baseball. These kids notice this sort of thing.

I explained to Torin that when someone is around all the time like that and then suddenly isn't it's hard to accept and it can make people feel sad and alone. It was this comment that Torin became REALLY sad and said "If Dad died I just don't know what I would do Mom." I could tell by his voice that he was on the verge of crying. I told him that Daddy had no plans of dying any time soon and that he takes good care of himself so he was going to be around for a long time. My words were able to soothe his fears but it started to make cherish that we did have our Daddy around.

It really tied into a conversation that I had recently with my brother. As he lost our Dad when he was 6 years old. His son is almost 6 and he has been thinking more about that his son is almost at the age he was when he lost our Dad. It's something that I have never thought about it, as our Dad passed when my Mom was still pregnant with me. It's a different sortof loss between my brother and I. But seeing how just the thought of it impacted Torin moved a piece of me that hasn't been moved before.

Reflecting on it now makes me want to spend each day cherishing the loved ones that we have with us now. As we never know when suddenly it will be taken away from us.

Imagination

Of course all small children have imaginations. Some have imaginary friends while others will just make things up. Torin has come up with a doozy or two in his time and even I remember a few that I tried to pull over on my parents but our Vaughn has topped any imagination that I have ever known or heard of.

His imagination revolves around his stuffed monkey who's name is appropriately named "Monkey". Monkey and his family have all sorts of adventures some are pretty plain but others involve things that you couldn't imagine if you tried :)

It's pretty much a every day basis that Vaughn will come up with what we have termed "a monkey story". Torin is actually pretty good about, instead of calling his bluff on it, he'll ask questions to get more details of the story which, trust me, Vaughn is more than willing to elaborate and share.

It's gotten to the point that we have created a facebook page for Monkey. The real purpose of this was to be able to collect all the "stories" of monkey. The things that Vaughn will come with are just so funny sometimes while others are just run of the mill "try to out do" the story you just heard, to some of the most off the wall things that you really just don't know what to do with them...So if you are interested in following monkey feel free to check him out at http://www.facebook.com/pages/Monkey/199496040090413...

Until then enjoy the monkey quotes and pictures.

First of many ocean trips

We went out to Morreau Bay to see the ocean the first full day there. Vaughn was just so excited to go to the beach. In his mind going to the beach meant swimming and although it was much nicer in CA than MN it definitely was not swimming weather but that didn't stop Bercan and Vaughn. Torin on the other hand was too busy exploring the rocks/caves/sea animals to bother with getting wet :)

We climbed to the top of the rocks. A little scary as the

rocks were wet and slippery and behind us was ocean

and waves crashing into the rocks. I made Torin

a little nervous with getting closer than he wanted me to :)

Big man made it to the top...

The boys exploring...

Love that Vaughn has his shirt on backwards this is

not unusual for him. And of course his swimming suit :)

One would think for how wet this baby is that he would

anything from happy but he was happy as could be

with digging in the sand and running through the water.

Trying to climb the rocks to keep up with his brothers.

Trying to keep him a little dry. Not sure why I was

even trying as he was about soaking wet at

that point anyway.

Just love this picture of the three of these boys :)

Christmas Memories 2011

This year I decided that I thought it would be important to teach our children that Christmas is not all about presents. I absolutely get sick to think how much people spend on presents and the fact that beyond the actual morning of Christmas kids typically forget what they got anyway. Maybe it was because we didn't get a ton at Christmas as kids but there are only a few things that really stick out in my memory. Getting the Sony playstation which was the one gift that all three of us kids got as our only present and when I got the real cabbage patch kid as I had gotten what I termed "the fake one" the year prior. But really beyond that I cannot pin point what I got for Christmas as a kid.

The only Christmas that I will NEVER forget as a kid was when my parents took us to Mexico for Christmas. Christmas morning there was not a tree of presents to be found, or the craziness of wrapping paper being torn into, no new toys to play with BUT we had our family all together for 7 days of fun in Mexico. We spent quality time together, visited places we had never been before, got to learn about a culture beyond our happy little American one and it was awesome! Why they never did it more than that time I don't know but they are memories that I will never forget.

So Bjorn and I decided that we would take the family to California in lieu of presents. It was our memories versus materials plan. I gave up my birthday gifts as well to make it possible to do this. Bjorn and I did not exchange presents and we did not buy any for the kids. Because the kids still SO believe in Santa we got them a small gift each from Santa. The kids had no idea about California as we decided to keep it a surprise. Bjorn has an Aunt and Uncle and I have cousins there that we don't get to see alot. Thus we arranged to stay with them and make it a little extended family trip as well.

We had everything packed and ready to go. Started to get the kids up, get them dressed and headed down to breakfast. The funny thing is none of them asked "Why are we getting up?". After all Torin knew that he didn't have school and that Christmas break was starting. They all just followed our lead. As we were eating breakfast, we handed them a gift. We had bought a dog toy to hint as to where we were going even though at this point they had no clue what was going on. Torin and Vaughn ripped into it and Torin says "It's a dog toy." with a puzzled look. At this point Ryan, Bjorn's brother showed up. Now Torin knew something was up.

We said that Ryan just wanted to stop by. They bought it even though Torin was still a little skeptical of that answer. So we said we were going to visit someone that had dogs and thought that they would maybe want to bring that with. They started guessing people in town. So we showed them a picture of Louise and Perry's dogs. Torin says...."That's Auntie Louise's dogs." And right after he said it out loud it clicked to where we were going "WE'RE GOING TO CALIFORNIA" he yelled. We said yep and both the boys started going crazy. They were so excited. Torin asked when and I said "Well we need to leave in about 5 minutes." He was so shocked he didn't know what to do. "Mom, I have to pack", "It's done Torin. Your bag is packed in the car.", "Did you get my Shawn White shirt? My DS, my Pokeman cards...I have to show Gavin my Pokeman cards Mom." He went on and on and thankfully I had thought of everything that he mentioned so we were good to go. The boys jumped into the van with smiles as big as I had ever seen them and we were off to the airport.

The boys did great on vacation and we got a ton of quality time in along with seeing family and making a ton of great memories. After all it is pretty rare in MN to be able to go for hike on Christmas day :) Torin had really wanted a Wii for Christmas and when we were in the airport on our way home from the trip I asked "Torin wasn't this trip better than any Wii." Torin said that was a tough question that he would have to think about and to ask him again later. About an hour later he asked me "Mom ask me that really hard question again." So I asked him and his response was "It really was better. Because we got to be together the entire time. I got to see Auntie Louise, Uncle Perry, Gavin, Dylan and their Mom and Dad. We got to go hiking, to the ocean, see the elephant seals, the aquarium, see glass being blown, geocaching, eating at that really fun restaurant, the skate park and just be together. That was better than any Wii. Thank you so much Mom for taking us on this trip!"

That response was of course the one that I was looking for but when I actually heard it, it melted my heart because I knew that this was something that he was never going to forget. These memories that were made were ones that were going to last a lifetime. To me that is priceless and something that no material thing could replace.

We decided that every other year we are going to do the memories versus materials. Bjorn and I have already starting plotting out the next SURPRISE :) The next few posts will show the pictures from the trip. I hope you enjoy them all :)

Berc...

It's crazy to me just how quick this little boy is growing up. It so much sadder this time round as I know that he is our last. I want to cherish every moment with him but with two older ones demanding time and attention and those other things in life like work just get in the way. I will say that when I am with him, I feel like I am REALLY with him probably more than I was with the other two. Here are just some fun pics of my little Berc...

Just being his cute self :)

He's such a combination of the boys at this age.
It will be interesting to see who he tends to look like
more in the years to come.

He definitely loves his Daddy..mustache and all :)

I love the way that he is looking at Bjorn in this picture...

Lots and lots and lots of snow

Why I actually live here in MN sometimes suprises me? I really don't like the snow or cold at all. Each year that I get older my tolerance for it decreases dramatically. I actually begged Bjorn this year for us to move but unfortunately because of the housing market we are here to stay, at least for now.

Even thought I loathe this winter weather my children are far from sharing the same opinions on it. Little Bercan is by far the craziest snow/cold weather lover I have ever met at his age yet. We had about 17 inches of snow and it was cold. Single digits, negative with windchills and when I finally brought him in because his cheeks were red he threw a tantrum. Oh well he was coming in with Mama.

Here are some pictures to show just how much snow that we got...

My little snow monster....
As you can see the bank of snow is almost was high as Bjorn.

Mailboxes snowed in :)

Nose Picker

Out of the blue last night Torin informs me that he knows two people that have NEVER picked their noses. Interesting that this is what he wants to tell me while snuggling in bed. I bite and asked who these two peopl are, "God and Jesus".

I asked how he knows that they NEVER have picked their noses. Curious as to where his logic is coming from, "Because they would have choose the wise choice to use a kleenex." Hmmm, interesting point. I let him have that one, kiss him good night and tell him thanks for the point of clarification :) What a funny little man!!!

Reflecting on Tor's Doc Appointment

Last week Torin woke up saying that he was having a hard time breathing. His wheezing confirmed his statement thus I made the appointment to take him. Mind you that Torin hasn't been to the doctor for being sick since Kindergarten and before that it was really only for wellness checks. Thus my doctor appointments for Torin have been more check ups then trying to figure out what sickness he might have. Seriously, he never has even had an ear infection. He's a pretty healthy kiddo.

We got into the room and the doctor started to ask HIM questions. How do you feel Torin? Where does it hurt Torin? It seemed odd at first why wasn't she asking ME those questions. I'm the Mom. Well, it's because he's almost 8 and can talk for himself. I felt so out of place almost in a surreal world. Was my baby that big that he could articulate the symptoms that he was feeling? Yep, he was. He explained in detail when it started, how it felt and where it hurt the most. It was cute and hard all at the same time.

I was proud that he could do this but also a little sad. I felt a little not needed which as a Mom does not feel good. Unfortunately, the big guy had croup. The first of any of my boys which is kind of interesting since it was my almost 8 year old that was the first to get it.

I know that these situations will be more frequent then less as the years go on but it doesn't mean that I have to love every second of them. I feel blessed that he is able to do this and will reflect on that versus the growing up-not-needing-Mom-as-much part of it :)

An Afternoon with Vaughn

Well today I took some time for Vaughn. He has asked a couple of times if I could come to his class and after a very long month of being gone evenings to help with a benefit for a friend of mine I decided that we both needed this.

When I told him that I was going to be coming to his school with him he was so excited. On the way there, he asked me if I had to go to the bathroom. Odd I thought but when I told him that I didn't. He explained to me if I did that the bathrooms were right outside his classroom. Here are the other details that he provided.

1. Mom if you have to wash your hands our sink at school comes out like a shower. You don't have to stand on the step though cause you are tall enough.

2. If you get hungry I think that there are some Craisins on the counter that you can have. (When I told the teacher about this she said that she had brought some in last week ;)

3. At circle time if I wanted to sit on his square with him I could.

This was all on the 5 minute drive to his school. I guess my little man is just trying to make sure that I have a good first day at school with him.

It was a ton of fun to see him in his element and just to get to be with him. I received many hugs and kisses throughout the couple of hours and I have to say that it was the best couple hours of my day :)

Academic Star

Well of course as a Mother I'm expected to brag a little bit about my kids, right? Torin prior going to Kindergarten we thought was SO smart. After all he could count over 100 at 4 years old. Funny thing is, is that once they get into school you tend to realize, rather quickly, that there are a lot of kids that can do that too. Being our first though we have no other comparison except what we were doing at 4. And I know that I wasn't counting past 20 at 4 :)

Kindergarten was fine for Torin, 1st grade was more of an awakening to that he is an average kid and trust me we feel VERY blessed for having an average kid. It wasn't until this past month that Torin has broken out a little more. He's trying more and things are coming more easily to him.

We got an email from his teacher last week that stated on his achievement test that he had gone 11 points over from where they had hoped he would be at the end of the year. Now, we really don't take these tests too serious and especially myself NEVER being good at standardized test don't get too hung up on them. However, the test that he had taken at the beginning of the year projected his growth to be at a "20" by the end of the school year and mid way he is already scoring "31". His teacher was really impressed by this and said that it was the most growth out of the entire class. Then Torin came home last night and said that for the math achievement test they had wanted him to be at "100" by the end of the year and he scored "203".

So I am bragging a little bit and the reason why is that I am just SO proud of him. Reading is by far not his favorite thing to do but he knew that it was something that he had to work on. He tried hard and is now gleaming from the results of it. This is such a rewarding thing to see as a parent. Just so proud of our little bug-a-boo :)

Peefooo

Well our little Bercan is definitely getting older and has started a new little "trick". When he is stinky or his diaper is too full "for him" he'll touch his diaper and then wrinkle his nose and wave his other hand saying "peefoo". Then he will want to be changed. Not sure that this is a sign that he's going to be good at potty training or not but I'm not willing to take up that adventure for at least another year.

When I have a wife....

I have to blog this quick before I forget it so I apologize that I still haven't gotten California pictures up yet...They are coming I promise!!!

Monday night we dropped the kids off at Bjorn's parents to try and pick out some tile. It was an errand that needed us both focused versus one of us gathering the troops and ensuring they didn't take the store down. We had met at Bjorn's parents house thus we had two cars. Vaughn of course picked me to drive home with. He and I always have our little conversations when it's just the two of us. I treasure these moments and this is why....

Out of the blue he says to me, "Mom, when I have a wife you can come over and watch our kids, okay?". I of course am thinking this is too cute and ask if I could come over once a week to watch their kids so they can go on date night. A silent pause, "Ahh...yeah that would work out great Mom. And sometimes we drop them at your house so they can sleepover, that okay?" I love these so grown up conversations that will most likely end in the coming years and not be brought up again until he really does have a wife and kids.

On the other hand Torin still tells me that he is going to have 11 children. I hope that Bjorn and I are still active enough to keep up with ALL of these potential grandchildren :)

Christmas Card Photos

This year I decided to not put us in the Christmas card and just do the kids. It was super cold outside and there was a ton of snow already so really trying to get all of us was just too hard. Bjorn's parents had given us the toboggan and with borrowing a few santa hats from a neighbor the picture just worked out. I know any one looking at the blog has probably already seen them but I just wanted to post them...

Bercan ~ 1 year

Vaughn ~ 4 1/2 years old

Torin ~ 7 1/2 years old

My boys....